3 Uncomfortable Feelings When it Comes to Setting Boundaries
Therapy Orlando: 3 Uncomfortable Feelings When it Comes to Setting Boundaries
Have you been attempting to set boundaries that are feeling really uncomfortable when it comes to putting the boundary in place? Do you often feel guilty or anxious because you're not quite sure how the other person is gonna take it? Do you really want to set boundaries, but these feelings seem to get in the way?
Boundaries are one of the most important things to uphold with others in order to have healthy relationships. We should be implementing boundaries when it comes to our relationships with our friends, our job, our family, and ourselves.
As an Orlando therapist that works with people, struggling with toxic relationships. I work a lot with individuals who have a habit of people pleasing and then they really seem to struggle when it comes to identifying and establishing boundaries. My clients often feel boundaries are difficult to enforce due to feeling anxious, guilty, or self-doubt. In this blog, I’m taking the time to share three of the most common feelings her clients feel when they start on their journey to establishing boundaries.
1. You Feel Anxious.
Oftentimes when people begin setting boundaries, they feel very anxious. They start to worry about what the other person will think or feel. Feelings of uncertainty will start to mount and even worries about coming across as being selfish will be felt.
There's a huge learning curve when it comes to setting boundaries and in the beginning, it can feel very awkward, anxiety-provoking, and uncomfortable. Just know that with time, practice, and honest self-reflection, you will get better at setting boundaries and they will become easier. Please make sure to check out this post on the trauma triangle, if you're noticing a pattern of not being able to set boundaries in relationships.
2. You Feel Guilty.
Setting a boundary will feel different, foreign, and uncomfortable. This is a valid feeling and natural, especially when this may be new territory for you. When you are setting a boundary you cannot both take care of yourself and make someone else’s feelings about you a priority. Setting a boundary is about honoring yourself and letting go of others’ perceptions of you when setting a boundary. This will make the boundary set dissipate or become porous. However, as we continue to set healthy boundaries our sense of self becomes clearer, and our confidence grows. As time goes on, setting boundaries will feel as natural as breathing.
3. You Feel Self-doubt.
Feeling self-doubt when first learning to set boundaries is quite normal and is to be expected. Make sure to have a support system in place, such as family members, friends, or a therapist. Sometimes my clients can be in a place where setting a new boundary for a prolonged period brings up uncertainty, anxiety, and discomfort. A therapist or other support can remind you of the reasons why you set the boundary and support you while you hold true to yourself.
For example, this is extremely helpful when a family member continues to attempt in overstepping your boundary. But hold on tight! You’re not alone in this! Keep utilizing your support system!
If you find yourself having difficulty gaining your footing in this area, seek out professional help to assist you in setting that foundation of stability you need, and be the support you need on your journey.
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Therapy Orlando Resources
Parenting Boundaries: Taking Back Your Power and Your Sanity
Trauma Triangle: Making Sense of the Chaos
Orlando Therapist, Christina Martinez, LMHC is an EMDR Therapist who specializes in PTSD, trauma, anxiety, stress, and developing healthy relationships. She also helps people decrease their anxiety and cope with autoimmune diseases at Mindful Living Counseling Orlando. Christina uses EMDR, trauma-Informed Yoga & coping skills, and cognitive-behavioral therapy to help her clients build their unique toolkit.
Mindful Living Counseling Orlando is a trauma healing center. Our Orlando Therapy Services include anxiety therapy, trauma counseling, EMDR therapy, eating disorder recovery, teen counseling, and healing from toxic relationships. At Mindful Living Counseling Orlando, we use a down-to-earth approach infused with cutting-edge therapies that go beyond traditional talk therapy so clients can heal at the root level and experience lasting change. Feel free to access one of our Guided Meditations to help you feel settled and calm now.